Aftermath Thoughts
by AngelandCordy
Summary: What was Buffy exactly thinking after she defeated the first. Her thoughts at the big whole in the Earth that she use to call home. Please Read and Review! thanks!


**Disclaimer: Buffy and all characters belong to Joss Whedon and all other rightful owners.**

**Buffy's Thoughts after defeating the First. **

"_She's laid down her life, literally, to protect the people around her. This girl has died two times, and she's still standing. You're scared? That's smart. You got questions? You should. But you doubt her motives, you think Buffy's all about the kill, then you take the little bus to battle. I've seen her heart, and this time not literally. And I'm telling you, right now, she cares more about your lives than you will ever know. You gotta trust her. She's earned it."_

I was standing there. I didn't quite know where to go from here. What do you do after there is no Hell Mouth? After you have hundreds if not thousands of slayers all around you. Thoughts just running through my mind as I now looked at what was lift of Sunnydale which was nothing but a big hole in the Earth. I started thinking how I got through this. The first thought was what Xander said that night. Before we went into battle. Before he lost his eye. I never really gave myself time to think too much about it during the whole process of things. He had so much faith in me. I was his hero. A part of me felt like I let him down that night, and that tore at me every time I looked at that eye patch. He was Xander with the goofy smile, and the always shinning bright eyes to go behind it, but now… I had to stop before the tears came. Now was not the time to cry, but again why not. I looked behind and see the people we lost in battle. Spike, Anya, The girls. Spike… Again something I can't let myself process at the moment. I was glad to see that Kennedy made it; I can't imagine Willow going through something like that again. Of course nothing would ever affect her as much as Tara, but still.

When I looked at Dawn I couldn't help but smile. How could I be so lucky to have her standing beside me? I hope Dawn can fully comprehend how much I love her. After all she was pretty much my daughter. True in my mind she will always be my sister. Someone that irritates me and I can't stand sometimes, but deep down I know she probably is the closest thing I will ever have to a kid of my own. I mean she was made literally from me. She was 100% of nothing but me.

I looked back at Xander and saw him talking to Andrew. I knew what he was asking. After all Andrew did fight beside Anya. I saw the sorrow and prideful look on Xander's face all at once. God, than it hit me. How much Xander has given to this last battle. The love of his life, his own eye, he risked it all and never backed down once. He kept going full speed ahead even when he had to follow someone else. As long as he was fighting the fight. He didn't even won't to leave when I gave him away out with Dawn. He was truly the hero. Since High School. He never had to be there but through it all he has never left my side. Same goes for Willow. How was I so blessed to have these people in my life? And Giles he could have left a long time ago. Even when the watcher council fired him he stayed right by my side. Never turning his back on me, at least till he thought it was to my own good.

I wish my mom was here to see this. She would he so proud I believe. We have all came such a long way. At that moment I felt a brush on my back. I turn around to see Willow. She is all teary eyed, probably having the same thought process as me. I just hug her. God I'm so thankful that she is here. All the sudden I felt Xander behind me joining in on the hug. There it was I felt complete safeness, and happiness. For some reason no matter what was going on in my life when we had our moments like this I felt like I could overcome anything. We have come such a long way since sophomores in High School. I love you guys. You know that right? I wouldn't have made it these last seven years without you. Same here Buffy! Same here! And there we were the four of us, and people who have joined along the way. Having our whole life's in front of us. What to do, where to begin, but I knew as long as I had Giles, Willow, Xander, and Dawn by my side I wasn't worried for a minute. The possibilities were endless, and that's when I genuinely smiled for the first time in I don't know how long.

_**This is just something that came to my mind. I thought it be fun to write. Please review and tell me what ya think. Also I have this really big story I'm working on at the moment. If you are a Bones, Buffy and Gilmore fan its perfect for you . So check it out and review please! Thanks much love!**_


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